Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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