So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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