Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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