you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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