Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
