i don't plan on having that self control this summer
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
