Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
zippers are such a cool invention
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
