they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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