Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
