You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
