So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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