It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i believe in u and ur pee
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