i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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