Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
