Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
