Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
