I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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