Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
