I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
