Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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