So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
