Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't shave. On purpose
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize