my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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