I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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