WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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