please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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