Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
