I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
