google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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