Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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