so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
