i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
