just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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