ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
