Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
