What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
