YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
