Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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