Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Never joke about your clitoris.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
