Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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