i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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