What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
