Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
