You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
