So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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