he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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