Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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