True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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