My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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