After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
