Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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