She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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