So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
