found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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