You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
