i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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