i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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