think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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