Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
