I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize