For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
