I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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