I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
