Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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