ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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