we have officially lost it.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
