ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
