So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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